the incredible shrinking *L*Mo {I hope}

Life.is.good.

I've been enjoying life a lot lately...

enjoying life by way of eating everything in site apparently.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end and soon my clothes will no longer fit.

{and you will recall, resolution numero uno this year was to lose weight!}

**GET IN MY BELLAY**

So

I have started with a goal of losing 15 pounds

and have been using a cool little app called LoseIt.

{Shout out to Meg for recommending/doing this with me}

I started this goal last Wednesday.

And so far I have lost 

drumroll pleeease

5 pounds

to what do I owe this much of a weight drop in such a short time frame?

the stomach flu

AKA: A special kind of hell

The one and ONLY silver lining to stomach flu

is the weight loss.

Good times.

I consider this my gift from God for having to put up with that horrible sickness for upwards of 3 days.

Man I wanted to die!

So that's what I am up to these days...

I'm keeping my calories low today because I am headed home to make 

Chicken Parmesan ala Tyler Florence

{recipe here}

and drinking a bottle of Caymus with my *love*.

A big THANK YOU to Lauren for the stellar dinner recommendation.

My tummy thanks you 

but my weight loss goal does not.

xo,

*L*Mo

Guilty little TV pleasures

Hi everyone

 My name is *L*Mo

and i'm a TV-aholic...

Hi *L*Mo!!!!

Yes, it's true

I love TV!

Im one of those people that really enjoys it at all hours of the day

{and I even fall asleep with it on}

While my boyfriend DOES happen to feel the same way about TV,

  He does NOT however

enjoy my TV choices from time to time....

He recently complained:

"Honey, since Walt has moved out, I'm slowly having to watch MORE Oprah and LESS Sports Center and I don't like it."

I feel bad for this...really I do...

but I'm just not one of those girls that looooves sports

Don't get me wrong,

I LOVE live sports when I am there

but I'm just not a sports page kind of gal...SO SUE ME

This got me thinking about the kinds of shows I make my poor boyfriend watch...

The tame side would be stuff like Modern Family, stuff on the Food Network, travel channel, and the occasional Oprah

{Pat can't lie-some of the Oprah shows are QUITE intriguing to him and I KNOW IT!!}

But here are a few that just plain DO NOT FLY during couples TV time...

1. One Born Every Minute

What is it about babies and shows about having them that I just 

LOVE

?!?

I could watch this kinda stuff all day!

In fact,

When I first saw a commercial for this show

I literally made a calendar reminder in my Outlook

to make sure I didn't miss the premiere

{and Lauren's bday...it was a double dose reminder}

Lately, 

I've been watching this on Comcast On Demand when I'm in bed

and Pat has fallen sound asleep next to me...

The problem?

Every time I watch it in bed

Pat gets woken up 

by the craaaazy, ear piercing pain screams of these women in labor!!!

{even after I quickly turn the volume down when I know it's coming! I'm never fast enough...}

His response always cracks me up...

"OMG what the hell is that screaming??"

"Nothing babe, just a woman giving birth shhhh back to sleeeeeeep"

Can you think of a worse way for a man to be woken from a deep slumber?  

I think not.

2. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

{currently on hiatus until Season 2 begins (yay!)}

I've never really watched any of the other Housewives shows but for some reason this one appealed to me

AND

I became completely addicted

Here is what a conversation centered around my interest in the show sounds like between Pat and I:

Pat: I'm seriously worried about WHY you like this show

Lindsey: It's entertaining

Pat: Yes but is this what you want your life to be?  Is this what you want your friendships to be like??

Lindsey: No...I mean I wouldn't be OPPOSED to their money situation but...

Pat: These women are HORRIBLE, catty bitches!

Lindsey: YES! thus, entertaining to MOI!

You have to admit, he has a valid point.

Why do we even like watching this junk?

Is it because it makes us forget about our own problems?

our own friend and family drama??

I don't think I can say that I relate to these women and their issues....

so WHY is it so awesomely entertaining??

Either way,  I plan on continuing to watch these shows...

but I think I will make SURE my loving boyfriend is nowhere to be found.

{You're welcome, honey}

xo,

*L*Mo

Back to life, back to reality

travel size *L*Mo has just returned from Pebble Beach!

{technically the OPPOSITE of travel size since i've been eating everything in site}

We had a great time 

and the weather was

aaaamazeballs

Pat's dad was one of 3 MPCC members to be picked in a drawing to play in the AT&T Pro Am.

SO EXCITING and one of his lifetime dreams!

plus

he had the CUUUUTEST caddy ever who did such a good job!!

{I got a REAL kick out of walking around pretending to be "big time" telling EVERYONE I was with the AMATEUR CADDY...}

I'd like to tell you a little story...

a PERSONAL FAIL, if you will

I'm a big fan of Phil Mickelson!

Great golfer, seems like a good family guy,

kinda...sorta.... actually not really good looking guy

{don't care about that anyways} 

overall I'm just a fan. 

So on Wednesday night

Pat, Kirsten's BF David, and I went to TRAPS at Spanish Bay for cocktails

we are just walking down the hallway into the bar when who do we pass walking alone to his room??

PHIL MICKELSON!

So like a total dumb ass, I just STOP

and stare as he walks right by me,

mouth open-excited face and all...

{meanwhile Pat and David have forged on ahead and into the bar, trying to be "cool" and not notice him}

me? I'm standing there all excited thinking we are all going to stop and say hi to him as he just walks 

RIGHT BY ME

hopefully oblivious to what an idiot I must look like.

I walked into the bar with my head hung and spent the rest of the evening talking about what an idiot I was that I didn't even say hi! 

Fast forward to the next night, Thursday night...

Same situation

Walking into traps with David and Pat

SAME SPOT

I see him AGAIN

How lucky is that?!?! It was definitely meant to be!

{this time he is walking towards us but a little further away}

Pat does the same thing and wanders on into Traps but I GRAB David's arm

"DAVID IT"S PHIL! Wait with me I GOTTA say hi to him"

So awkwardly we stand there...

waiting...

as he slowly walks towards us...

I'm convinced he is about to pull the "fake phone call" to avoid us 

but either way, I stand there...

me with a geeky but EXTREMELY excited smile...

he approaches

me: {awkward fast wave} Hi Phil!

phil: Hi, how are you?

me: I'm fine, nice job today

phil: thank you!

he keeps walking

aaaaand END SCENE

Seriously Lindsey?!?!

How about? "Hey Phil can I get a picture with you"

why am I such an IDIOT

He was ALONE

perfect time to take a fan photo 

and I can barely get a few words out!!!

I.D.I.O.T.

 So as I'm sulking in the bar over my scotch on the rocks
I chalk this up to be yet another wash
and think to myself
"hey you saw him two nights in a row, you will come tomorrow and get that picture with him!"
So did I see him Friday night????
*
*
*
*
of course not...
*ugh*

So there you have it, my brush with a famous golfer

and I totally CHOKE

Oh welll

Who needs Phil Mickelson

when you are dating the amateur caddy! 

;)

xo,

*L*Mo

P.S.  Here are a few more pics

Mike Sr. on #4 at Spyglass

Paddy the Caddy on 18th Fairway, Pebble Beach

From left: Kate, Lisa, Me, Mairi, Annie, and Megan

Pat and Mike Sr. on #7, Pebble Beach

18th green, Pebble Beach

From left: Dad-Gary, David, Annie, Me, Mom-Lynn

well they totally SCREWED me...

  Any of you ever been to...

???? 
If you haven't
find one
and go there
Their Pizookies are amazeballs
cookie + deep dish pizza pan + ice cream = Pizookie = YUM

OR you might NOT want to go there after you hear this little story...

I went to BJ's for lunch with our two managers and a few new reps that just started
I ordered the Cobb Salad
I freaking LOVE this cobb salad
it's probably one of my top 3 fave salads
actually it used to be called the "Not Exactly Cobb, Cobb"
because it isn't really a Cobb at all
but that is neither here nor there.

So at approximately bite 3
I bit down on something HARD
I freaked out immediately
"OOOOOMG I think I just broke a tooth!" I said.
So I spit out my mouthful into my napkin and
behold
a SCREW

A shiny
hard
metal 
SCREW!!!!

So we of course call over the server
who brings over the manager
who comps our whole meal

which is nice and all
but I just had a METAL SCREW in my mouth people
{and I kinda got a baby cut on my gum from it...call me a wimp but it hurt!}

Now...I was raised by an parent who is an attorney
My dad is a hard working
**ambulance chaser**
{just kidding dad}
and has taught me many things about the law and suing people who piss you off

My mind immediately began filtering through my possible "claims" towards BJ's and what I could possibly
COLLECT from them because of this INJURY

Some of my favorites:
"Ouch I bit this screw, Wow and now my neck kinda hurts, it must have given me whiplash!"
and
"Ugh, I bit this screw...I think I'm going to need a professional level teeth whitening job asap!"
and
"OMG, I bit this screw..I also think I'm definitely going to need new highlights, a new outfit, an expensive purse, and a car detail"

Ok so none of those would probably ever fly....
but a girl can dream

another thing I tried to collect on?
possible time off???

Most recent conversation with my manager:


ME: im thinking I need to take an emotional and physical PAID leave of absence from work now after my lunch injury...

MANAGER: I think I have some post tramatic stress myself from just watching it happen.

ME: yeah i know, talk to your boss-lets get this approved

MANAGER: on it


Ohhh the possibilities that could come from this lunchtime tragedy...
too bad none of the above will ever happen


SO be warned readers...
If you go to BJs
#1 get the pizookie

and
#2 take little bites and chew your food carefully

NO METAL SCREWS IN THE TUMMY!!!

xo,
*L*Mo

HAHAAAA

There comes a time every once in a while

when we need something to make us smile

on a tough day

those days when

 nothing seems to be going right

today was one of those days...

So what did I do??

I took to the internet to find funny stuff that would make me laugh!

it worked.

I thought I would share a few of my favorite images I stumbled across today:
{as always-click to enlarge}

Damn it you stupid seal! For the LAST time, this is a PENGUIN DOCUMENTARY

all the single planets! alllll the single planets
 

 He has my business for sure...any food doctor who allows TBELL is A-OK in my book!

OK...if you are going to blow your boobs up with photoshop...you might want to stand behind a FLUSH background and get your arm out of the way first. OBVI.com 

 Future SFDC Sales Rep...that girl with the beads on her wheel spokes doesn't stand a chance!

Where's GOTH WALDO?!

 Don't do it Spike!! You have too much to live for!!!
 

hope those brought a **smile** to your face today.

xo,

*L*Mo

Things I have learned since I last blogged....

oh HAI everyone!!

I know it's been a few days since I posted anything

and I know you all missed me...

terribly

Good news!!!

I learned some things over the last few days

Bad news!!!

tough lessons actually
none of this was fun by any means
...tough lessons for me but both things I think you guys will get a kick out of..

so PAY ATTENTION PEEPS!

Here we go: A couple things *L*Mo has learned since last Thursday...

1. You should never, ever, under any circumstances

take more than ONE 5 Hour Energy

at a time!!!

it all started Friday afternoon

I was sitting at work

kinda bored

kinda tired

kinda THIRSTY

{the kitchen is kinda a far walk and generally too much work for me to walk to}

I noticed I had a two-pack of 5 hour energy's on my desk.

I had only taken about 1 sip of one of them the day before so I finished that one off...

tasted gross...

didn't feel anything...

and at this point, i'm pretty unimpressed by this little bottle...

so what do I do?

naturally, I decide to drink the other one as well

THAT'S when 

"shit hit the fan" if you will...

first it was left arm pain which freaked me out

then my heart was RACING

then my legs went numb

then I was dizzy

at this point I decide to make the long walk to the kitchen for some water

{even though I could barely see straight...I kinda felt like a dog who feels the need to go off and die alone because I really didn't want to pass out in plain sight}

came back to my desk and tried to come to terms with the fact that I was most definitely about to 

pass out COLD 

at my desk

with people around

in a dress

with no makeup on my face

...this only made things worse....

"omg what if i pass out and my dress flies up?!?"

so what do I do next? I decide to Google "caffiene overdose"

First thing that comes up? 

a link to Yahoo Answers.

{generally, I don't even look for advice on this site, its a bunch of people who seem to know nothing about anything}

the first answer I stumble upon?

that fits EVERY side effect I am experiencing?

"you are definitely having a heart attack and could be moments away from death, call 911 or get to a hospital asap"

GREEEEEAT

so now not only am i COMPLETELY losing it

but i'm trying to hold it together at work

I spent the next 2 hours with my head in between my knees

chugging water

and telling myself "You are ok, Lindsey.  You are a FIGHTER!"

{I also held back on sending the "goodbye, I love you all" text to my family, friends, and boyfriend}

which turned out to be a good call...

Anyhoo, obviously I made it through this ordeal

barely

but heed this warning all you readers,

One 5 hour energy will most likely do the trick

so if you must drink one- I'd stay stick to ONE.

Personally...

I will not be touching a drop of that stuff to my lips

ever. again.

2. PG&E does NOT f**ck around!

I discovered this little DOOZY

last night.

Pat and I came home from the store with a nice little plan to make spaghetti and have a bottle of wine
a lovely monday night...

we pull up to the driveway

and the garage door opener is not working

hmmmm 

so I walk to the front door and notice that all lights are OFF and our oven clock isn't on either

lovely...no power

then, it HITS ME

**rewind two days prior**

I'm trying to pay our electricity bill online

but

I forgot our password

{whoops}

so I go to make the payment over the phone with my debit card...

turns out

PG&E only accepts some WEIRD kind of debit card

{I have a Wells Fargo debit card, pretty sure thats kinda standard for a lot of households so WTF PG&E?}

third option,

tell them I have sent a payment in so they don't shut off my power and go to the bank tomorrow to get a check to send in {since I had none left}...

wellllllllll guess who kinda  forgot to go to the bank the next day

SO back to last night...

now PG&E is waiting for my payment

payment doesn't come

electricity gets SHUT OFF

 wow.

OFFICIALLY THE LOWEST POINT IN MY LIFE.

I have just brought a whole new meaning to the term

FML.

After spending about an hour on the phone getting them my bank info and paying our bill, they xfer me to the Smart Meter peeps

PG&E: GREAT NEWS LINDSEY!  We can automatically turn your power back on now because you have a smart meter

ME: That IS great, thanks smart meter lady!!

PG&E: Give us just a few minutes and you will be all set

ME: Phew! Spaghetti tiiiiime!

fast forward 3 hours

{now 10:30 PM}

still no power...

Pat has made a fire that I am practically SITTING in because I'm so cold

We have finished off a bottle of wine

and a whole sourdough baguette

and I am contemplating calling PG&E to tell them I have a newborn who might now have frostbite

because they are taking FOREVER AND A DAY

to turn our power back on

Finally, around 10:45 our power was restored.

so one long night in the dark with no dinner

and

one very LARGE apology to my poor boyfriend, later

 A lesson was learned...

Don't F with PG&E...
pay your bill on time no matter what!!

apparently they have access to all the power in your house!

Oh,

Here is a pic I drew for Pat on his laptop in my red wine HAZE