Things I have learned since I last blogged....

oh HAI everyone!!

I know it's been a few days since I posted anything

and I know you all missed me...

terribly

Good news!!!

I learned some things over the last few days

Bad news!!!

tough lessons actually
none of this was fun by any means
...tough lessons for me but both things I think you guys will get a kick out of..

so PAY ATTENTION PEEPS!

Here we go: A couple things *L*Mo has learned since last Thursday...

1. You should never, ever, under any circumstances

take more than ONE 5 Hour Energy

at a time!!!

it all started Friday afternoon

I was sitting at work

kinda bored

kinda tired

kinda THIRSTY

{the kitchen is kinda a far walk and generally too much work for me to walk to}

I noticed I had a two-pack of 5 hour energy's on my desk.

I had only taken about 1 sip of one of them the day before so I finished that one off...

tasted gross...

didn't feel anything...

and at this point, i'm pretty unimpressed by this little bottle...

so what do I do?

naturally, I decide to drink the other one as well

THAT'S when 

"shit hit the fan" if you will...

first it was left arm pain which freaked me out

then my heart was RACING

then my legs went numb

then I was dizzy

at this point I decide to make the long walk to the kitchen for some water

{even though I could barely see straight...I kinda felt like a dog who feels the need to go off and die alone because I really didn't want to pass out in plain sight}

came back to my desk and tried to come to terms with the fact that I was most definitely about to 

pass out COLD 

at my desk

with people around

in a dress

with no makeup on my face

...this only made things worse....

"omg what if i pass out and my dress flies up?!?"

so what do I do next? I decide to Google "caffiene overdose"

First thing that comes up? 

a link to Yahoo Answers.

{generally, I don't even look for advice on this site, its a bunch of people who seem to know nothing about anything}

the first answer I stumble upon?

that fits EVERY side effect I am experiencing?

"you are definitely having a heart attack and could be moments away from death, call 911 or get to a hospital asap"

GREEEEEAT

so now not only am i COMPLETELY losing it

but i'm trying to hold it together at work

I spent the next 2 hours with my head in between my knees

chugging water

and telling myself "You are ok, Lindsey.  You are a FIGHTER!"

{I also held back on sending the "goodbye, I love you all" text to my family, friends, and boyfriend}

which turned out to be a good call...

Anyhoo, obviously I made it through this ordeal

barely

but heed this warning all you readers,

One 5 hour energy will most likely do the trick

so if you must drink one- I'd stay stick to ONE.

Personally...

I will not be touching a drop of that stuff to my lips

ever. again.

2. PG&E does NOT f**ck around!

I discovered this little DOOZY

last night.

Pat and I came home from the store with a nice little plan to make spaghetti and have a bottle of wine
a lovely monday night...

we pull up to the driveway

and the garage door opener is not working

hmmmm 

so I walk to the front door and notice that all lights are OFF and our oven clock isn't on either

lovely...no power

then, it HITS ME

**rewind two days prior**

I'm trying to pay our electricity bill online

but

I forgot our password

{whoops}

so I go to make the payment over the phone with my debit card...

turns out

PG&E only accepts some WEIRD kind of debit card

{I have a Wells Fargo debit card, pretty sure thats kinda standard for a lot of households so WTF PG&E?}

third option,

tell them I have sent a payment in so they don't shut off my power and go to the bank tomorrow to get a check to send in {since I had none left}...

wellllllllll guess who kinda  forgot to go to the bank the next day

SO back to last night...

now PG&E is waiting for my payment

payment doesn't come

electricity gets SHUT OFF

 wow.

OFFICIALLY THE LOWEST POINT IN MY LIFE.

I have just brought a whole new meaning to the term

FML.

After spending about an hour on the phone getting them my bank info and paying our bill, they xfer me to the Smart Meter peeps

PG&E: GREAT NEWS LINDSEY!  We can automatically turn your power back on now because you have a smart meter

ME: That IS great, thanks smart meter lady!!

PG&E: Give us just a few minutes and you will be all set

ME: Phew! Spaghetti tiiiiime!

fast forward 3 hours

{now 10:30 PM}

still no power...

Pat has made a fire that I am practically SITTING in because I'm so cold

We have finished off a bottle of wine

and a whole sourdough baguette

and I am contemplating calling PG&E to tell them I have a newborn who might now have frostbite

because they are taking FOREVER AND A DAY

to turn our power back on

Finally, around 10:45 our power was restored.

so one long night in the dark with no dinner

and

one very LARGE apology to my poor boyfriend, later

 A lesson was learned...

Don't F with PG&E...
pay your bill on time no matter what!!

apparently they have access to all the power in your house!

Oh,

Here is a pic I drew for Pat on his laptop in my red wine HAZE

notice the fine attention to detail: red wine, bread, fire, and pat's cute little fauxhawk

xo,
*L* Mo