Whenever I need a laugh...

It's really nice to have a friend like this

Just kidding-I barely know this girl

 the friend I speak of is the one that took the pic

She's pretty fun.

Her name is Jessi Jae Joplin

She makes me laugh and every time we hang out, we spend most of our time making silly videos on her Mac

Thus, today's blog was born.

I needed something to entertain me today.

I TOTALLY FORGOT that Jessi posted some of our videos on Youtube!

So I searched.

watched.

laughed.

and decided to share.

Here is my fave.

enjoy.

I'm hoping this translates as somewhat funny to the rest of you...don't judge me to harshly if it's not
{also funny because we were having a PARTY at her house and for some reason found it more fun to sit down and make this video than do any kind of socializing}

 You should also know that we had more that a few cocktails prior to this recording...

oh, Jessi's also a pretty rockin' POP STAR

check her out here

xo,

*L*Mo

What not to wear (apparently)

Here's the situation...

My job

is a desk job

a cubicle job

nothing outside in the fresh air

nothing customer facing

just me and a good 'ol cube!

Now

anyone who knows me knows I take these 2 things very seriously

1. Warmth-I'm completely addicted to 

heaters, heating blankets, and heating pads

{space heater on my feet is operating as I type this}

and

2. Being comfy

My comfy clothes go one of these two ways on any given day

The "I didn't get enough sleep and also didn't shower this morning but i'm trying to look cute and at least wear girly colors"  look

this is usually my weekend look when I'm running errands or staggering into Starbucks with a hangover to retrieve a latte as big as my head

or

The "Baggy layers make me look less fat and also make me look like I have style but I kinda look too much like Mary Kate Olsen"  look

This is the one I tend to wear to work.

It's comfy

I'ts easy

It makes me look like I have somewhat tried without really trying

and in my office, it passes just fine! 

HOWEVER

If you choose to adopt one clothing style and consistently show up to work in it

it becomes a bit obvious when you try to change it up

Example:

This morning, for some reason, I decided to dress up a little and wear a casual blue dress, sweater, and cute nude heals

but I also didn't wash my hair in the shower this morning

so

in went the dry shampoo spray 

and up went the hair into a bun

then

I found some cute dangley earrings that totally matched so I had to wear those too
{Up-do+dangle-y earrings=fancy looking}
*

*

*

Walked into work 45 min later to literally 5 people complementing me on my outfit today

"Wow, cute dress"

"Woah you dressed up today!"

"Aww, look how cute and dressed up you are"

and even my cubicle neighbor, Jeff

"Weird, you dressed up today, I'm always surprised when you dress up, don't really know how to handle it"

OK PEOPLE

I like compliments and all,

but ok, I get it

I dont dress up at work usually

So now I am in a difficult situation

Clearly

people at work are aware of my style choices
I'm afraid if I start dressing up MORE

I will get comments about looking horrible when I dress down

**already hearing in my head**

**when I wear one of my "ala mary kate" outfits**

"Woah, whats wrong with you today?? Are you sick??"

But,

I also don't want to commit to dressing up every day!

{toooooo much work}

Seriously, what is the best choice here?

To dress up or not to dress up...

THAT IS THE QUESTION!!!!!!!!!

xo,

*L*Mo

Do NOT Tickle me *L*Mo

Don't even think about it!

"You know what i hate, the one thing i hated growing up.
I hated being tickled. Tickling is the worst.
Cuz it started out fun. Right?
"Tickling, lets tickle!' started fun...ended horribly.
Didn't it always escalate the same way? First you would be like
"Hahahahahahaaahaa c'mon! Hahhaaahaa i can't bre! I can't breathe!
Cut it out!! Stop It!! im going to throw up!"
and they couldnt stop they're like "Hahahaaahaa I dont care! Hahaahaa!"  

Dane Cook couldn't have said it better

I freaking HATE being tickled!

The idea for this post started last week.

I was minding my own business...

doing dishes like a good little housewife {housegirlfriend}

Pat comes up behind me 

and

not only does he SCARE me, but he decides to tickle me too!!

so what do I do?

BAM

straight back kick to the knee!

The look of total shock {and a little pain} on his face was pretty funny

but that's what you GET for tickling {and scaring} me!!!

Yes, I am one of those people that can turn VIOLENT with one little tickle...don't do it.

My friend Rick Travis recently said, 

"Tickle wars, 95% of the time, end in sex."

REALLY? 

I couldn't agree with this less

Pretty sure I got this trait of hating to be tickled from my grandma

**my sweet Nanny**

the one

and only time

I ever tickled her

she literally punched me in the stomach

who does that to their 5 year old grandchild??

{I'll try not to be guilty of this with my own grandkids someday}

So I ask you, sweet readers...

DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY LIKE TO BE TICKLED

{obv. besides you, Rick...i do not want to hear your answer to that}

xo,

*L*Mo

Everybody is...

Workin' for the weekend!!!

Dang, those are some sexy 80s haircuts Loverboy!!

you guys know the song...right?

{10 bucks says you are singing it in your head right now}

** Everybody's working for the weekend**
**Everybody wants a little romance**
**Everybody's goin' off the deep end**
**Everybody needs a second chance, ohhhh**

**You want a piece of my heart**
**You better start from start**
**You wanna be in the showwwww**
**Come on baby lets GOOO**

Oh man, it's been a long week!

I'm ready for DATE NIGHT tonight!!

Little one-on-one time with my love 
Little romantic dinner

Little movie

Little popcorn...

{okay BIG popcorn, movie popcorn is one of my top 5 fave foods!}

overall, gonna be a nice little evening.

Also..
Going to a baby shower for my beautiful friend Natalia on Saturday,
{crap, still haven't gotten a present for her}
and then headed to the city with my BFF Rae

What are YOUR plans this weekend??

Whatever you are doing...
Have fun
Be safe

xo,

*L*Mo

The ART of a pose

Ahhhh the art of a pose!!

celebs have this down to a science.

and it's something I've always strived to replicate.

 If you can master the skinny pose

it can make photo-taking a whole lot more fun!

{instead of uber embarrasing when you get caught in a not so flattering pic}

EXHIBIT A:

{click to enlarge but I REALLY wouldn't if I were you}
SERIOUSLY, what is that?!?!

my boyfriend can't even LOOK at me and is pounding booze instead...
and our friend Mounter looks shocked 

and is CLEARLY pointing up at the 

ugly-ness

that is ME in the pic.

{I had a small heart attack when I saw this made it to fbook}

SO

 the lesson today, my children

is to learn how to AVOID this kind of shot.

I dedicate this posting to my sister Kirsten

the true master of the skinny pose

{also my model in several pics below}

*

*

THE ART OF THE POSE

1. The skinny arm

Paris KINDA mastered this very early on...

{say what you will about the girl}

Shoulder back.

Hand on the hip.

Elbow angled away from the camera.

and

*viola*

 Kirst {right} and Hayley {left} rocking the skinny arm


Jeez I still can't get over that ugly pic. BARF!

ok anyhoo...

2. Lean forward/head forward

 This pic was taken the DAY after I saw the one above...

clearly

I am focusing on extending that head out of the neck area!

I would also like to highlight #3 with this same photo

3. Hide behind people to make yourself look skinnier!

 the photo pretty much says it all

hide behind best friend and boyfriend?

*BAM*

instantly skinnier

4. Tongue to the roof of the mouth

now you may be saying to yourself

self: "I've never heard of this trick *L*Mo!"

And that's probably because I'm pretty sure my sister and her friends made it up!

CHECK IT OUT

 not only does our lovely model have the very beautiful jaw line working for her

but she is also working the HEAD TILT

{another great way to accentuate the skinny jaw line}

By placing your tongue on the roof of your mouth while smiling,

you instantly create a better jawline 

and a skinny neck!

GO to the mirror right now and TRY THIS until it looks good

{this can tend to look awkward before you master it} 

 Look at Kirsten working that SKINNY POSE!

so remember kids

THIS 

 NO!!!!!!!!

THIS

YES!!!

I don't even know these girls but I'm using their pic!

{Thanks Google Images}

:)

xo,

*L*Mo

  

Nanny Diaries...

We've all heard the story

{and maybe seen the movie??}

*Girl meets family*

*family hires her to be their nanny*

MR. X is never home and always consumed by his business

MRS X had a baby pretty much just to say she has one and spends most of her time shopping and exercising

NANNY ends up the motherly figure and raises the kid herself

Mad face is RIGHT!!

Well ladies and gents

*

*

*

*

I am sorry to say

*

*

*

that...sadly...

*

*

*

This story

*

*

*

*

is nothing like that story!!!

I was blessed with the BEST.FAMILY.EVER

to nanny for

One of the reasons why my "about me"

describes my daily longing for my old 

nanny lifestyle

Izzy and I have the best time together

She and her fam moved to Germany

and I was a sad *L*Mo

BUT

they moved home

{hooraaaaaaay}

And i'm back to babysitting one night a week starting tonight!

Yes, I WILL be tired after a long day at the office.

BUT

she is always worth it <3

xo,

*L*Mo

Raindrops on roses....

"whiskers on kittens" and "warm woolen mittens" are great and all, but they don't really top my list of

favorite things.

in fact, I think "snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes" are itchy and rather annoying

but LIKE Maria from the Sound of Music

{and Oprah duh}
I too have a list of favorite things...

and in no particular order, here they are!

1. Rockaholic Dry Shampoo by TGI

I have THIN hair.

thin hair that tends to get oily QUICK

I also have extensions

extensions that take FOREVER and a day to blow dry

therefore, this is one of my FAVORITE products

and much better than baby powder

{the BF got a little sick of my hair smelling like "a babys ass" so I had to find other options}

2. Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer

Lightweight, great coverage, SPF, oil free

what's not to like?!
{shout out to my sister Kirsten for this stellar recommendation}
Thanks KIRST

3. Stella and Dot jewelry

Often spotted on celebrities AND *L*Mo

this is one jewelry line I cannot live without

4. The Lululemon yoga pant

I've never met a lululemon piece I didn't like/love

but

the yoga pant is a must have!

I'm a fan of anything that can simultaneously make my BUTT and STOMACH look good

this baby does the trick!  

5. Michael Kors Watches

I have this watch in silver and gold

and i need it in every other color

{seriously I cannot get enough of these!!!!}

everyone and their mother happens to own one

*but I still loooooove them*

6. Gucci bags

Now I love Louis Vuitton as much as the next girl

but

Gucci is another one of my faves

{plus Lauren used Louis in her fave things blog and I gotta keep it fresh to entertain us both!}

I consider my Horsebit Hobo my first born

and my large travel duffel is perfect for traveling

{and always gets me a compliment or two so you can't hate that}

7. Restaurant James Randall

Started by my friends, {mom and son duo}

Brenda Hammond and Ross Hanson

this restaurant is like crack to me

if you go here, it is absolutely necessary to do it

"Ross'way"

he will pick his favorites and send them on out!

Some of my fave dishes include the foie gras

{I should have made foie gras a favorite thing standing alone...i love it that much}

chicken and waffles, fried sushi roll, and the gnocchi

BEST.RESTAURANT.EVER.

8. Tom Ford Charles Aviators

If ever there was one accessory

ONE accessory you feel like you can't live without

these would be mine

I loooove TOM FORD shades 

I already have the Whitney 

which is why it's hard to justify a second sunglass purchase upwards of $400

still

I promised myself these after my first sales commision check

turns out I don't really make as much as I thought and that $400 has continually gone to other things

one day...

9. Rombauer Chardo

Love it. Need it.

Romby can always take the blues away

period.

paragraph.

10. Erase Paste

My sister Whitney discovered this favorite makeup thing

{thanks WHIT}

we both have the unfortunate genetic curse of dark circles

this, ladies and gents, always does the trick!

just a dab of this miracle worker and I am

good to go!

SO there you have it

my top 10 favorite things

perhaps my gentleman readers will not find this blog post of any interest to them

but you SHOULD

chances are your girlfriend would love one of these things

{PJ should be paying attention to a few as well}

If you don't have a girlfriend, take a girl to James Randall and suprise her with the TF Charles aviators

*poof* instant GF!

Unfortunately

I do not have the kind of money that Oprah does.

If i did,

I would bless ALL of my blog readers with a gift bag full of these things.

Maybe one day...til then, KEEP READING!

xo,

*L*MoPRAH

FAN MAIL!

One of my blog fans created this *L*Mo pic!!

So funny!

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

ok fiiiiine...so this "fan" may or may not be my boyfriend

But...

He kinda IS a fan!

he's a fan of *L*Mo...

he's a fan of my blog...

he's a fan of me in general...

so it is JUSTIFIED!!

{plus it's so funny so I had to share it}

THANKS PADDY!

xo,

*L*Mo

The other me...??

My guess {and hope so I feel more normal} is that this happens to all of us at some time or another...

You go out for a nice round of drinks with friends

one cocktail turns to 2, then 3, then 4, then 5...and so on...

and before you know it, you aren't really your "normal" self anymore.

Now,

This could go a few different ways and you become one {sometimes more depending on the night and length of it} of these below...

1. The FUN drunk-who doesn't love this person? Always high fiving, buying rounds of drinks, and busting out rockin moves on the dance floor.

{my beloved tends to fall in this category}

2. The EMOTIONAL drunk-this includes the drunk who tells EVERYONE how much they love them, and the serious talk drunk who always needs a heart to heart...

3. The ANGRY drunk- including but not limited to- the fist fight starter, the jealous bf/gf, and the friend who always feels left out.

If you are like *Yours Truly* and have made a habit of falling into one of these categories, chances are, you have been given the pleasure of a named ALTER-EGO!!!

So without further adieu, I would like to introduce you to just a few....

{Get that drink out of her hand!!!!}
Name: Lindsey

Alter Ego: Linda 
Drink of choice: Hard alcohol of any kind

Description: the ANGRY drunk-most commonly known for snapping at her boyfriend for a variety of reasons

none of which I ever remember the next day and are never of any importance whatsoever.

{so sorry baby}

You will all notice that THIS...IS...ME...

I am SO not proud of Linda-I hate her!  But I AM proud to say that I left Linda in 2010 and she is not invited to join this party- that is the year 2011 {and beyond}.

{Those shades won't hide those ANGRY eyes BOB!!}

Name: K.O.B.

Alter Ego: B.O.B
Drink of choice: Bushmills

Description:  Yet another victim of ANGRY drunk syndrome.  When BOB isn't dancing up against jukeboxes checking her sexy self out in the mirror, she can be seen snapping at her boyfriend for the same variety of reasons Linda does.

Side note: Linda and BOB looooove to vent together about their "bad" boyfriends

**I think I speak for both of us when I say, we have the BEST,  most patient, and forgiving boyfriends in the world. :)

And finally, one that many of you know AND LOVE....

The one...

The only...

Name: Nick

Alter Ego: RICK
Drink of choice: Crown Royal or vodka

Description: The FUN drunk-also slightly/extremely perverse...but none the less...FUN!

Some favorite Rick quotations:

"When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning."
"Do not walk into the Apple store and say 'Whose d*&k do I have to suck to get an iPad around here?!?!'....Turns out there is a guy."

and

"My traveling pants need a sisterhood."

*

*

*

*

What is YOUR drunk alter-ego??

xo,
*L*Mo

 

Guess who is hungover today??

ME. I am and i'm such a baby about hangovers.
Whyyyy oh why did I think Te-kill-ya was a suitable beverage choice on a Thursday night?

I seriously want to die right now, thank the LORD it is Friday and I'm leaving work at 3...

Last night was a blast though.

Saw The English Beat-an 80s Ska band at a friend's sales kickoff event for his company.

Was it worth the way I am feeling today? SURE WAS!

My other topic today: Shout out to my girl Lauren who got me to write the blog

{also my only follower}

Hopefully I can impress you with my obviously stellar writing style and my thought provoking posts

xo,

*L*Mo 

2011...

*2011*

my first blog, my first year of resolutions I plan on keeping

(we'll see if that happens)

I've never been one to make resolutions because like so many of you out there, I BREAK THEM ALL

*not anymore folks*

I have some concrete goals and here they are

1. lose weight

{one of the most famous and most broken of resolutions}

I plan on actually doing this because if I don't, I'm pretty sure I will have to buy all new clothes and I do not have that kind of budget, plus who wants to be fat? not me.

2. pay off credit cards and bills

I need to do this before the debt collectors start making house calls trying to track me down

3. redecorate our house including a lovely kitchen remodel

{kitchen remodel and crown molding hit the top of the list!}
4. Hogan's surgery

you will notice this resolution is crossed off, that is because as of tomorrow, our little puppy will be fatty tumor FREEEEEEEE

5. Quit drinking soda

I am happy to report it is the 13th of Jan and I am 13 days coca cola SOBER

and finally 6.

GOLF

I want to be a better golfer...my boyfriend is a PRO for god's sake, and I have silly little *girly* dreams of playing lovely rounds of couples twilight golf in MAUI together

SO there they are! 6 resolutions and one I have already checked off the list.

I think 2011 is going to be a pretty awesome year!

xo,

*L*Mo